7 Tips To Have A Long-Lasting, Happy Relationship - mindbodygreen
Fall in love all over again with these expert tips. 10 Ways to Make Your Relationship Last. Fall in love He'll be happy to have you experiment with him. 5. Perhaps going against conventional wisdom, spending time apart is also an important component of a happy relationship. It is healthy to have some separate . In order to give you a little help, the popular relationship app Happy It seems simple, but having more quality time together as a couple is.
Eventually, whether you're applying for a home loan or simply talking about the costs of summer vacation, these kinds of money issues will either be brought to light by a credit report or by the simple fact you can't afford a trip away. Although infidelity usually happens in bed, it also can happen with money. And it will be a tough road gaining back your spouse's trust if you've lied about overspending.
Along that same vein, if you feel you aren't connecting with your partner the way you used to, you need to say something -- now. I've learned this lesson the hard way. I once let communication issues fester for months on end, failing to verbalize my displeasure, and my husband and I wound up in marriage counseling for nearly a year. It took a third party -- and a real investment on our part -- to get us back on track.
If I had not kept telling myself that things would get better on their own, we might not have reached what I call the danger zone. Take care of your appearance.
With many years and a few kids under your belt, it's easy to let your appearance slide. Think about when you first met your partner. Would you have walked around in stained sweatpants and without brushing your teeth?
My guess is no.
- The 10 Secrets of Happy Couples
I'm not saying you have to look like Julianne Moore every time you settle in for a night of TV. Sometimes my husband will say "wow, you look nice" as I'm walking out the door for a girls' night out. At least pay your spouse the same courtesy you do your friends by fixing yourself up for him or her every once in awhile. Foster relationships outside your marriage. I've been going on girls' trips for as long as I've been married.
Yes, I love traipsing off with my spouse and three kids. But these weekends away with friends are also important. Swapping stories with others and enjoying new experiences make me -- I hope -- a more interesting person for my spouse to be around. When Katie Couric asked Barbra Streisand the secret to her happy year marriage to James Brolin, she replied "time apart.
10 Ways to Make Your Relationship Last
Your marriage should be your primary relationship -- but it needn't be the only one. There are many things you should never say to a longtime spouse, the first being: It's also never a good idea to start a sentence with: We hopefully all have a pretty good sense of ourselves at this point and having someone you love point out a failing in this way does little to engender a loving relationship.
Neither of these is true. If you start a sentence with these words your mate is certain to shut down or start a fight. Stop for a minute and think about what you really mean to say -- and then say that instead.
Put away the jumper cables yourself. In life, there are big things and there are little things. The big things -- draining the bank accounts to support a gambling habit, forgetting to mention that he's in the federal witness relocation program living under a false identity or that he has a second family stashed in Queens -- are of course one-way streets to divorce court.
But most of us don't have problems of that magnitude. Most of us have problems that are more like petty and repeated annoyances, which when fed the steroids of resentment and anger, balloon up like Arnold Schwarzenegger.
And we all know what steroids did to his heartright? Most of our problems start out small enough -- he borrows the jumper cables from your car and then leaves them sitting in the driveway just waiting to get run over -- and from that sprouts a giant festering sore. It leads you to utter words like, "If you loved me you would have put the jumper cables back in my car so that when I get stuck in a bad neighborhood with a dead battery I could save myself," which, in my household, generally results in a reply like "When do you ever drive in bad neighborhoods?
For a happier marriage, address them right away and keep it simple. Sometimes the best way to address a problem is to just walk away from it -- as in seriously let it go. Not every slight must be addressed. Know that not every insult is intended.
11 Ways To Make Your Long-Term Marriage Happier, Starting Today | HuffPost
Practice letting go as much as you can. Bite your tongue until the tip bleeds. And once in a while, remind yourself of why you married this person. Focus on those reasons and let stuff pass without mention. The trick to successful silence, however, is that you really let the problem pass. If you stay silent and still harbor bad thoughts, well, that's where ulcers come from.
An untended garden develops weeds that can ultimately kill even the heartiest plants. And so it is with relationships. It is important to address problems and misunderstandings immediately.
Some people believe good relationships just happen naturally. The truth is that a good relationship, like anything you want to succeed in life, must be worked on and tended to on a regular basis. Neglect the relationship, and it will often go downhill. There is no substitute for shared quality time. Time spent together should be doing a shared activity, not just watching television.
It is healthy to have some separate interests and activities and to come back to the relationship refreshed and ready to share your experiences. Missing your partner helps remind you how important he or she is to you.
Make the most of your differences. What most attracted you to your partner at the beginning? Take a fresh look at these differences. Try to focus on their positive aspects and find an appreciation for those exact things that make the two of you different from one another.
If both you and your partner stop trying to change each other, you will eliminate the source of most of your arguments. For instance, instead of complaining how your partner never cleans out the dishwasher, try just doing it yourself once in awhile without complaint. Your partner will likely notice your effort and make more of an effort themselves around the house.
11 Ways To Make Your Long-Term Marriage Happier, Starting Today
There may be issues upon which you cannot agree. Rather than expending wasted energy, agree to disagree, and attempt to compromise or to work around the issue. Two people cannot spend years together without having legitimate areas of disagreement.