The Challenge of Long-Distance Relationships
I've read so many articles about long-distance relationships, and I notice a running theme among many of them: They sugarcoat it. Yes too many times. Yeah It's not difficult to figure out quickly the distance majorly sucks. Do Long Distance Relationships Work? Even if they do for some people, should you get yourself into one? If you decided to have one, how can. Every relationship requires hard work, but a long distance that you might never feel if you had never gone through those tough times apart.
And for there to be hope, there must be some possibility that you two will one day be together and achieve your Happily Ever After TM. Without that shared vision of Happily Ever After, everything else will quickly begin to feel meaningless. Remember, love is not enough. You both need to have life visions that are aligned, shared values and mutual interests. In my second relationship, my girlfriend took a job working in Africa. Meanwhile, I toiled away in the US with no money trying to get my first internet business off the ground.
All hope for making it work was removed from the equation and we soon broke up.
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My current girlfriend is Brazilian. We began dating while I was living there in I left after a few months and we kept in touch.
Make Your Long Distance Relationship Easy & Fun | Modern Love Long Distance
But we had it because we both knew it was necessary if we were going to continue. Six months later, I made the commitment to move back down to Brazil and stay there with her until we could figure other plans out. Long distance relationships can only work if both partners put their money where their genitals are. OK, that sounded weird, but what I mean is that you have to make the logistical, life-rearranging commitment to one another for it to have any chance of working.
Is it worth it? This is the question I get most often from readers. Because even if the relationship goes down like a Malaysian Airlines flight, 5 you will have learned a lot about yourself, about intimacy, and about commitment in the process.
Sure, you know their personality and their attractive qualities. The way he leaves a mess in the bathroom and then denies making it. Her tendency to talk through movies. His tendency to get easily offended at comments about his appearance. This is where true intimacy exists. In the constricted personal space between two people who have spent way, way, way too much time around each other. Stonewalling People sometimes email me about their long distance relationship and say something like this: What should I do?
It is using silence as a weapon or an escape. It is controlling the situation by simply refusing to engage. Distance makes this particularly easy to do, and it can drive your long distance partner crazy with frustration, second-guessing, and self-doubt. If you catch yourself stonewalling, ask yourself why.
Tough Advice for Long Distance Relationships
Are you trying to punish or hurt the other person? Or are you mostly taking what looks like the easy way out by avoiding complicated emotions or discussions? Whatever the answer is, stop it. When your partner does get back in touch, tell them how hurt and frustrated it made you feel to get the silent treatment. Tell them how you wish they had dealt with the situation instead of disengaging. Becoming possessive Another issue that often pops up in my inbox goes something like this: Distance can make it harder to trust and easier for jealousy and insecurity to run rampant.
This combination often fuels possessive and controlling behavior. If you are feeling and acting possessive, try to figure out why. This is a complicated issue, and that might not be easy to do. You can, however, act less controlling even before you sort out all your feelings. Take a hard look at what you are asking for from your partner in terms of contact, accessibility, and updates. Are your expectations reasonable? If not, decide what is reasonable preferably together and then stick to that.
If your partner is smothering you, tell them. That will only make them more anxious and demanding. Cheating Do you want the good news? Several research studies have concluded that cheating does not occur more often in long distance relationships.
Cheating is not uncommon in relationships whether same-city or long distance. Lying and cheating happen in relationships, and distance makes deceit easier to hide, for longer. This is one of the most feared long distance relationship problems. Here are just a couple of the amazing benefits that can come from being in a long distance relationship: What long distance relationship problems have you experienced? Meeting someone online is a total buzz. Now here's another true truth: Meeting someone online is a risky game to play, and you can quickly find yourself in over your head.
Tips For the Tough Moments in a Long Distance Relationship!
The next long-awaited visit with your long distance love has arrived! It's been weeks, maybe months, since you last saw each other.
I know I know. It takes so much trust to be able to handle not seeing your significant other all the time. This whole website is a lie. But hear me out. At the end of the day, we are only human.
Trust is the glue that holds a LDR together, if there is no trust, there is no relationship. If your significant other is putting in the effort, talking to you all the time, tells you they miss you, and comes home when they get the opportunity… and you are still giving them shit when they go out or talk to someone else, then it times to re-think what the meaning of your life is. If your significant other is constantly trying, and you are constantly accusing them of doing bad things, they will just fall over from confusion.
They told me Andy was cheating on me. Before I even entertained this internet demon from hell, I went to Andy immediately. Andy and I talked it out, he confronted the person, and the person ended up admitting the whole thing was bullshit.
You are not the eye of Mordor, you are not the all-seeing eye. I personally struggle with this quite often. The answer to this, is to talk to them.
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That is the only answer. Do not play games. Do not pass go, do not collect dollars. Do not set up a fake profile, create the perfect fake hottie for your partner, throw out the line and wait for a bite. If your relationship is already toxic, your partner is going to bite.