Information and advice on lying, cheating and infidelity. We also provide research-based information about falling in love, and solutions for how to rebuild trust; how to talk about problems; advice for saving a relationship after infidelity. For me personally relationships are based on a foundation of trust, so I personally do not think a relationship based on lies and deceit will last. Find out some of the main ways that lying is toxic to any relationship it touches.
This type of restrictive situation can become a hotbed for dishonesty. The woman may lie about time alone she spent with a male friend or co-worker, or the man may lie about an attraction he is starting to feel for another woman. When we treat our partners with respect and honesty, we are true not only to them but to ourselves.
We can make decisions about our lives and our actions without compromising our integrity or acting on a sense of guilt or obligation.
When we restrict our partners, we can compromise their sense of vitality, and we inadvertently set the stage for deception. The more open we are with each other, the cleaner and more resilient our relationships become.
Conversely, the more comfortable we become with keeping secrets, the more likely we become to tell bigger and bigger lies. When an affair occurs, denial is an act of deception that works to preserve the fantasy that everything is okay. Admitting that something is not okay or that you are looking for something outside the relationship is information that your partner deserves to know.
Emotions sprung from deception like suspicion and anger can tear a relationship apart, but more importantly they can truly hurt another person by shattering their sense of truth. Relationships are contingent on honesty and openness. They are built and maintained through our faith that we can believe what we are being told.
However painful it is for a betrayed spouse to discover a trail of sexual encounters or emotional attachments, the lying and deception are the most appalling violations.
An ideal relationship is built on trust, openness, mutual respect and personal freedom. But real freedom comes with making a choice, not just about who we are with but how we will treat that person.
Choosing to be honest with a partner every day is what keeps love real.
Can a relationship based on a foundation of lies and deceit last?
So while freedom to choose is a vital aspect of any healthy and honest union, deception is the third party that should never be welcome in a relationship. About the Author Lisa Firestone, Ph. Writing has always been one of my strengths and a source of comfort.
I also like it because you, the receiver, are able to read or reread the letter, based on your moods and feelings, not mine. You have been weighing heavy on my heart and also, in my thoughts.
A couple weeks ago I tried to tell you that I could no longer be your friend, lover or have a relationship with you because of your continued lies, deceit and manipulation.
Can a relationship based on a foundation of lies and deceit last? | Shhh&Pout
But what I have come to realize is that I have told many lies to myself to live your lie. And for that I will accept full responsibility. The lie I told myself: John, at times, treats me exactly as he treated his ex-wife. There is no difference. Once John is able to experience honest, sincere, genuine mature love and friendship with me then that will allow him to see how healthy, growing, loving relationships should be and he will reciprocate. John has not reciprocated in like kind.
When John realizes how much his actions hurt me, he will stop those actions.My Partner Lies: Dealing With Lies In A Relationship
John will not change his actions for me. John needs the support, encouragement and love from me to help him beat his compulsive habit, self-defeating behavior, obsession, pattern, addiction or whatever it is called.
John makes choices and decisions that reflect the ultimate in self-indulgence, self-centeredness and epitomizes the one-way talk and relationship street he claims to despise. John can learn to live with compromises that trouble the soul and make you suffer and call it love. Suffering is not love.
The relationship started as business but crossed over the line into personal, too. The past is over. The past continues to drive John and haunt him. If the package is beautifully wrapped, its contents will be fabulous.
Deception and the Destruction of Your Relationship
The outside can be beautiful and the inside ugly. Values are what you live, not what you believe. Trust can always be rebuilt from the ashes…you can get over anything if you just work hard enough. And the last lie I told myself: Their relationship was distressed by untruths.